The observations of Noah Puckerman
by msashlyjudd8
Summary: Puck thinks Kurt and Blaine are an old married couple...until one day he doesn't. Now Blaine won't look at him and Kurt keeps glaring. What happened?


Authors Note: This takes place sometime after "The First Time" episode. I don't own Glee or any of these characters.

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Noah Puckerman was a bad ass; plain and simple. The ladies wanted to be _with_ him and the guys wanted to _be_ him; just like it should be. He walked the halls most days surveying the young sweet freshman girls. A well placed wink or a crooked smile and BAM…Puck had his next conquest. Noah Puckerman was a sex machine and anyone who said different, could say hello to his fist.

It was a normal day during the first months of his senior year that Puck's world would be rocked to the core.

Glee club was one of those things that made him uncool by association. For the most part he kept out of the drama. Usually he parked himself in the back row of the choir room and exuded an air of boredom. The truth is Puck enjoyed the drama (not that he would let it show.)

Everyone in glee, at one time or another, was involved in some kind of drama or fight, With the exception of Bow ties Magee and Lady Hummel. Kurt and Blaine were the old married couple of glee. They always sat together with their hair perfectly coiffed; legs crossed, and perfect posture. They sang lovey duets and made googly eyes at each other. They were obviously virgins. Puck wondered to himself a lot, if they ever had sex if they would ever loosen up. Blaine, who looked like he had been plucked out of a black and white 1950's sitcom and Kurt, who most days looked like he was dressed by a clown, were the most vanilla straight laced people he had ever known.

The day started off as normal as could be. Puck arrived to school a half hour late, and nonchalantly walked into his math class. He ignored the glare from the teacher as he took his seat in front of Tina, and then promptly fell asleep on his folded arms. The same could be said for the other two classes before they were released for lunch.

Lunch time found Puck wondering the halls. He wasn't in the mood to eat or leave campus, so he decided to wonder around and scare some freshman. He had just passed the science room when a muted banging sound rang out behind him. Puck stopped and turned, only to find the hall empty. He was just about to keep walking when he heard it again, followed by giggling. When nobody appeared in the hall he started to wonder what the hell was going on. And then…

"N-no Blaine…S-someone will…oh god,"

Puck stood frozen in the middle of the empty hallway. Kurt's voice was coming from the Janitors closet.

"Blaine," Kurt hissed. "You…you'll get your jeans d-dirty. God…who cares just don't stop doing that."

The moans coming from the closet were loud, and puck had to cover his mouth with his hand to keep from laughing. He looked both ways down the hall before he snuck closer to the door.

"Please Blaine," Kurt begged, "Please…faster…I need."

Puck knew what a blow job sounded like, and if he was right, Kurt was about get a happy ending. He thought about quietly slipping away to let the boys have their fun, but what fun would that be? As Kurt's moans grew louder Puck decided to have a little fun. He raised his fist and silently counted to five and then…

BAM! BAM! BAM!

"OW! Fuck!" Came from inside the closet, the voice was Blaine's this time. Puck grabbed the door handle and flung the door open with a huge smile on his face. Blaine, who was on his knees, sprang to his feet at the same time as Kurt spun around to face the inside of the closet. Blaine looked like a deer caught in the headlights.

"Well, well, well," Puck laughed. "What do we have here?"

Blaine's face turned 13 shades of red before he dropped his face into his hands. Kurt, who had been busy trying to stuff himself back into his tight jeans, spun around with a death glare aimed right at Puck. He leaned down and took the strap on both of their bags, handing Blaine's to him. Blaine took his and with his head bowed, almost ran by puck and down the hall. Kurt took extra time to straighten his shirt and primly slip his bag over his shoulder. He then raised his head and looked right in Puck's eyes.

"Noah, just so we understand each other," Kurt started. "This stays between us and you get to keep what hair you have left on your head."

Puck laughed as Kurt then raised his chin, and slowly walked out of the closet.

Puck didn't say anything, but that didn't stop him from smiling the whole way through glee. Blaine refused to look at him, and whenever Kurt did look at him, it would turn into a glare. Puck just laughed. Maybe Kurt and Blaine weren't so vanilla after all.

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End Note: Let me know what you think.


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